God bless you for finding such a kind way to get past your relationship with your mom. My relationship with my mother was awful to put it kindly. I did everything to make her well that I could, including to wish I had her cancer. She was giving up and I told her we could shave our heads together. No matter what I said or did she put me down. We had been so close even through years of abuse. When she died, she gave everything that meant anything to her, to her brothers, sisters and an illegitimate daughter. I went into myself and mourned for a year then realized she only still abused me if I let her. That’s when I started to get well. So Barbara- God bless YOU and God bless ME. Please keep writing.